I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
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