Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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