Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
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