they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
