I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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