There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
he thought i was a dude.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
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