Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
