They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
