I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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