This is not my ceiling
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
