your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
