How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
