I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Randomize
