that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
