yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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