So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
