yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Randomize
