My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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