are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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