Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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