I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
