Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
