yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
