Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
i will never coherently bang her
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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