I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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