The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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