Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
