my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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