just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
