That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Randomize
