I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
