she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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