you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
We need to get me chipped asap
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
