I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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