There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
