I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
