I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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