My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Life without a bra equals bliss.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
