you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
