I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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