his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
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