Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
