Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
