What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
