I feel great
I just peed on a car
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Randomize
