wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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