Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
