I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
