I could have mohawked her pubes.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
