If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I need to align my fucking chakras
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