I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Randomize
