i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
what day is it and did you see me today?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
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