i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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