I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize