I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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