I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Randomize
