She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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