My liver just broke up with me...
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
