shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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