I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
We left the knife in your bed.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
