I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
