Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
handjob tips. give me some.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
